What Matters Most
I do not know you. Right now, I am staring at the same words you are. Like a one-way mirror, you can see me in these sentences, but I cannot see you. I do not know if you are smiling or crying or staring blankly. I do not know your birthday or your height or your favorite food. I do not know what else you have heard, besides these words. I do not know who you are.
But I do not need to, because I know What Matters Most.
You were born. You gasped for air, and your love story with being began. You needed something. To breathe. To be touched. To trust. Most likely, you screamed. This was the truth inside of you awakening, that voice that says, "I must care for myself, and I must be cared for." Your first sound was desire. You did not apologize for wanting. And nobody asked you to. You simply were, and you were beautiful. You wanted to love and be loved and keep on going.
As you grew, you bounced off the needs of those around you. Some needs were gentle, and let you witness the possibilities of life. Other needs were sharp and pushed you further away. Bless those who saw your soul and let it speak. Those who told your soul to be quiet were saying the same thing to themselves. Did they take the wise rhythm of your body and say it was a curse? Did they tell you that to stretch to the full breadth of your soul was selfish? When all you wanted was to love and be loved and keep on going? You simply were, and you were beautiful. But they were too afraid to see it because that would mean they were beautiful too.
And now here you are. When was the last time you sat down and let your heart beat without controlling it? Do you remember the last time you let your soul speak? Maybe it was yesterday. Maybe it was very very long ago. It is okay. You can always find your way back. You do not need to earn yourself. You have always been yours.
Ask yourself, what do I want? Then ask yourself, why do I want it? Then, maybe you will learn what you need. You need. And that is okay. There is enough space for your soul to expand here. I know you are trying. Do not tell me that you aren't, because to be is to try. So, in a way, I do know you. Because I know this:
You simply are, and you are beautiful. You love, and are loved, and keep on going.
And if you can do that, you can do anything.
​
- Sophia
Resources
If you are looking for help or support, please look through the linked resources below. This is not an all encompassing list, but rather a starting place.
The Trevor Project is a crisis hotline, specifically centered around helping LGBTQ+ youth. They also offer educational materials around LGBTQ+ matters. If you need help, visit their site linked above to text or chat, or call them at 1-866-488-7386.
The Human Rights Campaign is an organization working to ensure the rights and safety of the LGBTQ+ community. They offer educational content, as well as opportunities to volunteer.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline offers help for those going through crisis. Their website will help you find local mental health services. To talk to someone right now, call 1-800-273-8255.
gaychurch.org provides a list of affirming churches for LGBTQ+ people and allies. Church crowd sourced, so feel free to help and add information about any churches you know. They also have articles on LGBTQ+ people and the Bible, for further reading.
Church Clarity is a website that let's you search churches and see if they are affirming, as well as supportive of women in leadership. Like gaychurch.org, Church Clarity is crowd sourced, so check out their website to submit church information.